I cry. A lot.
When I am “well” I cry at films, when reading books, when I am proud of my daughter, when I am happy, and when I am sad.
When I am depressed I cry at all the above, but I also cry ramdomly in the aisles in Tesco (or any other supermarket I happen to be in), I cry in the car, I cry when I walk, I cry when I cook, I cry at texts and I cry at Twitter. I also cry at everyone. I cry at my doctor, at my psychiatrist, at counsellors, I cry at my friends, and I even I cry at my daughter. I feel like I cry all the time.
I’ve noticed that when I cry I apologise. Why? It’s a normal way to express emotion. I don’t believe in the stiff upper lip, because that usually means emotions aren’t being expressed, and that’s when they fester and build and eat you up from the inside. That’s when they get dangerous.
Crying shows pain and it helps release the hurt. I wouldn’t hide my pain if I had broken my leg. So, from now on I’m not going to apologise for crying. I won’t feel ashamed of expressing my feelings that way any more than I would of laughing. And I hope by accepting it as an emotion like any other that I won’t dwell on it any more than the other emotions I express.
It’s ok to cry.